Have you ever wanted something so badly that you could taste it, smell it, see it in your mind, and your heart ached for it, but for some reason it remained elusive? Perhaps you’re in that space now.
Whether it’s a desire to meet the love of your life, create more wealth, expand a business, or achieve better health, there are likely things you’re yearning for that have painfully remained just out of reach. Maybe you thought it was bad luck or it wasn’t meant to be, but there’s something else underneath that’s driving your successes, failures, and near misses. And the best part is, you have the power to overcome it.
If you want to achieve anything great, your subconscious needs must align with your conscious desires.
I’ve noticed this to be true in myself and in every single human I’ve ever worked with. In Eckhart Tolle’s book, Finding Your Life’s Purpose, he writes, “Your subconscious is either backing you or bucking you. It will back you in anything that is in accordance with your supreme wish. But anything which is in opposition to it will go slowly, sadly, heavily, and inefficiently.”
Your subconscious is dictating your supreme wish, not your conscious desire. So for anything to go the way you hope, both need to be in agreement.
What is your elusive grand desire, and what do you imagine your subconscious has to say about it?
Gap Insight: You cannot close any gap in the presence of a conflict between your conscious desires and subconscious needs.
“The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself.” — FDR
Your subconscious has one primary objective: to keep you safe.
Your brain’s watchdog is called the amygdala. I call it “Mother Protector.” It’s part of an evolutionary alarm system always on the lookout for potential threats to your survival. It uses the neurochemicals of fear as its message and motivator to convince you to back away from anything that may be harmful.
If you’ve ever had to speak in front of a group of people, start a difficult conversation, or considered skiing down a steep slope, the hesitation, doubt, or anxiety you feel is your amygdala sensing a threat to your physical, mental, or emotional safety and alerting you of that threat through fear.
The upside is that the fear response is essential to our survival. The downside is that your amygdala always has the first say—ahead of your conscious desires. That’s why it’s important to recognize that your subconscious isn’t wired to make you wealthy, happy, thriving, or fulfilled. It’s wired to protect you.
But you don’t need its protection from the things you desire; you need it to step aside. If not, change is difficult, and achieving new heights can feel impossible.
I invite you to ponder this question if you’re stuck somewhere in your life:
What are you dreaming of, and how might your subconscious be protecting you from obtaining it?
Gap Insight: When you step out of your comfort zone to reach any goal, you immediately narrow the gap.
3 Ways to Align Your Unconscious and Conscious Desires
If you want Mother Protector to shift her gaze elsewhere, and you want your subconscious to back you rather than block you, try these three helpful tools:
1. Recognize the truth: Playing it safe is only keeping you stuck.
Safety isn’t created by failing to realize your dreams and desires—suffering is. That’s what you’re choosing when you let your fear win. When you give in to your survival-obsessed brain, you accept the lowest form of success, which is the semblance of comfort and peace.
But comfort often comes at the expense of your goals and dreams, personal growth, and fulfillment. When you recognize this fact, you can make a new choice.
When you accept that the cost of remaining safe is the abandonment of your dreams, you take one step closer to success.
2. Let go of safety and move toward desire.
Mother Protector whispers doubts and offers seemingly logical reasons to give up or dial down your goals and ambitions.
But just because you can hear her loud and clear doesn’t mean she’s right. And it definitely doesn’t mean you should let her win.
Instead, listen to her, thank her for her positive intent, then step out of the comfort zone toward what you really want. When you decide to focus on what you desire instead of what you fear, she’ll move into the background and your subconscious will begin to support you.
When you decide to let discomfort be okay and move toward your desires anyway, you take a massive step toward closing the gap.
3. Visualize your success.
To truly align your subconscious with your conscious dreams, there is no better tool than visualization. Every top professional athlete visualizes the perfect dive, downhill run, or performance before they compete. They’re overriding Mother Protector, priming their mind and body to move in the direction of success, and directing their nervous system to relax, focus, and achieve the task at hand.
So before your next big meeting, athletic event, scary conversation, or make-it-or-break-it moment, close your eyes and visualize yourself at your best. Then visualize yourself coming out the other side unscathed.
That way, you’re aligning your conscious desire—to succeed—with your subconscious need to be safe.
Nobody in the history of humanity achieved anything great by playing it safe. In fact, they did the exact opposite.
Three techniques to help you align your subconscious needs with your conscious desires:
- Recognize the truth.
- Move toward your desires instead of away from your fears.
- Visualize your success ahead of time.
Remember: Small moves, consistently made, in the right direction. That’s how the castle gets built. That’s how every meaningful gap in history has ever been closed—not in one dramatic leap, but in the daily, deliberate practice of moving toward something you’re consciously building.
I hope you’ll pass this on to anyone who might enjoy it! Feel free to reach out with any questions or feedback. I’d love to hear from you.
Yours in health and life,
David
